Monday, October 04, 2004

I knew I was on to something

Here's an excerpt from Rotten.com's biography page for Dr. Timothy Leary:
His lectures became multi-media extravaganzas with live video and music, entitled "Just Say Know". His books became graphic novels, focusing on the World Wide Web. He increased his daily diet to consist of 30 cigarettes, one marijuana biscuit, one bonghit, half a cup of coffee, and a great deal of nitrous oxide.
I want a marijuana biscuit! A great deal of nitrous oxide would be (heh heh heh) nice, too... laugh my ass off.

Link to full article

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Unclean! Unclean!

Holy shit, I just happened upon this article. Here's a snippet:
Just imagine what would happen at your typical office if menstruating women were allowed to walk around at large. They would go around touching photocopiers and fax machines and pens and things, making them all "filthy" and "unclean" in the words of Leviticus chapter 15. It would be chaos.
Wow. I guess we're fucking up royally allowing these women to "walk around at large." I mean, it says not to in a book that's only been translated and re-translated multiple times, always by people with absolutely no underlying agenda in mind, right? So this goes along with gay marriage, since it says that in the same book. I think I see a future constitutional amendment in the making.

The church site this is on makes for some hysterical reading.

It's all in the Bible!


Link to Density Church site

UPDATE: After reading more of the stories, it appears that this site is parodying the beliefs of hardcore Christian fundamentalists who believe the Bible no matter what. It seemed a little too funny to be real. O well.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Good things start with "B"

Nothing like relaxing with a Bonghit, a Bottle of Pepsi, a Beef and Bean Burrito, my Blog, a good Book, a Black tattoo and the Best Bathrooms in the world.

Anyway, I'm off today and tomorrow. It's my usual weekend, except I have to be up tomorrow at 10am to take my Trainer test. When I pass it, I'll be well on my way to getting on the opening team.

If cyclops had their own language, would there be a word for wink?

More later, if you're lucky.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Coffee keeps you up

I was tired when I got home from work.

Then I drank some coffee. So now I'll be up till 9 am or so.

So I might as well post something. This blog has the potential to become a large chunk of my life, considering I already have very little of a life outside of work. And now, I CAN BLOG ABOUT WORK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just not all the time.

Anyway, The New Friday Five is about desserts this week, so here goes:

1. What is the best dessert you've ever had?
Chocolate souffle cupcakes with raspberry coulis and whipped cream. Simple, but exquisitely delicious. Melt-in-your-mouth chocolate meets pure raspberry essence.

2. Is there a dessert that just plain grosses you out?
Salmon ice cream? It actually exists, but it shouldn't.

3. Straight out of the container or with lots of toppings .... tell us how you like your ice cream.
Straight out of the container (preferably of an ice cream maker).

4. Cookie dough, brownie mix, cake batter or the finished products?
Raw cookie dough in a half-cooked brownie baked inside a cake.

5. You've just invented a great new dessert .... what's in it and what is it called?
Crack Cakes! Tasty little cupcakes... and you can't just eat one... or two....or three....

Damn my ignorance...

Ok, I have a (shitty) pic, but I can't figure out how to post the fucking thing to my profile with Hello. Damn it.

So...Tired...Must...Blog...

Holy shit, what a night.

Saturdays are usually the busiest night of the week, but Tim McGraw was in town tonight, and who knows what else was going on, but work seemed to be THE place to eat.

The night started off great with a $1/hr. raise, which I had asked for but only halfway expected to get, and then proceeded to get crazy. I started out on saute for a few hours, and stayed too busy to notice much else but the next 3 or 4 tickets in front of me. Then our grill guy started getting overwhelmed, so I went over to let him get a smoke break, whereupon I realized that the expo guy was completely in over his head trying to keep the orders going out, and apparently had been for a while. I had just been too busy to notice.

(For the non-restaurant workers out there, expo, or expediter, is responsible for doing all the last minute sides and garnishes on the plates before they go to the table.)

Anyway, if the expo guy isn't completely on the ball, the whole kitchen starts getting backed up waiting on him to catch up. I ended up jumping in and (eventually) getting it mostly back on track, from running 25 minute checks down to 12 or 13, anyway.

So I go back to saute. And he crashes. Again. So, I end up working the rest of the dinner rush on expo, while he struggles on saute. Yeehaw.

And this guy is a manager trainee. In 2 weeks he's gonna be a manager at another restaurant somewhere else. Hopefully in the dining room, not the kitchen.

Anyway, to sum it up: I got a raise, and then immediately got a chance to prove I deserved it.

Yet another fun-filled weekend, as seen from a kitchen. I need a bonghit. Or some coffee.

Oh yeah, 380 Ways to completely confuse your roommate.

13. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."
14. Recite entire movie scripts (e.g. "The Road Warrior," "Repo Man, "Casablanca,") almost inaudibly.
15. Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian Arias on a kazoo. If your roommate complains, explain that it is for your performance art class (or hit him/her with the wrench).
16. Collect all your urine in a small jug.
17. Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring you food.
18. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.
19. Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of weeks."
20. Buy as many back issues of Field and Stream as you can. Pretend to masturbate while reading them.
Link to full list

Friday, September 10, 2004

Friday already?

Well, it looks like I might be starting to get over the flu... a good thing, considering I work in a restaurant kitchen, spreading it all over town. Of course I wash my hands constantly to keep that from happening.

Time for another EXCITING weekend cooking for the masses; maybe I'll find out if I got the raise I asked for.

Mmmmm, coffee is good, can't take bonghit because it makes me cough too much.

I'm almost out of weed! Down to roaches now... like that's gonna help my coughing any.

Speaking of roaches, Al Gore had a few things to say about Dubya and his quest for power.
Pdf Link

If anybody actually stumbles onto this crap, let me know, leave a comment or something.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

First

Nobody is reading this, yet, but here's my first post anyway...

Coffee.................
Bonghit................

That's all for today, kids.